Brain Twister

I have always been an open minded person, but sometimes my brain just says no. Like with death, I have come to the point in my life where i realize its going to be gone, pulled out like a rug from under my feet and there is absolutely nothing i can do to stop it.

But every once in a while, the thought that there are BILLIONS of other people out there right now swimming in the Gulf of Mexico, kissing on the Eiffel Tower, or falling down a flight of stairs. That really throws me for a loop. That someone is becoming motherless or fatherless or both as we speak. That I have the chance to stop their sadness, maybe not the orphans sadness because like i said before you don't come back from death. But i could console them or help the man who lost his job by putting in a good word. Or maybe that one dollar i donated to breast cancer research today will join millions of other little dollars and millions of men and women will live a longer life. this could ALL have been happening right as we speak. and it probably is. If i do something about it.

The Simplest Words

If you have ever been to summer camp or had a friend drone on and on about it than you know how important it is to some people. Camp for me changed my life.

I have so many deeply rooted friendships... or should i say relationships with some of the greatest people i have ever known. they are and will always be my idols. They know me better than my family and love me in spite of it. The bond that shapes this adoration comes not from the 7 smelly weeks spent together but from the final words and mementos left behind.

One day last summer after getting back from a running class at camp, i went back to my cabin to change. after donning one of my old tee shirts i looked down at my pillow case and began to... Hold on one moment, ha ha let me start from a truth.

I believe one of the biggest compliment you can give a person is that "You have changed my life in the best way possible." I told one or two people that while out on a camp hiking trip.

Back to the pillow case, as you may imagine, i looked down at my pillow case to see a hand writing i had curiously remembered. It said in magenta sharpie, "You have changed my life. I am now a better person for having known you."

I with out my knowledge sat down on my bed still only half clothed and began to cry. for i had never ever known such a compliment. The air had been willed out of me, like getting the wind knocked out of you, but i let it go. i was too blissfully appreciative to let anything fight with me. As tears streamed down my face i began to laugh... luckily for me no one was in the room, for i looked clinically insane. One moment gasping for air in between moans and the next "hardy haring" as if over flowing with deep elation. I was both happy and well... happy. It was that greatest gift i have ever been given.

To the giver if this gift and the girls and some boys who I wish to say "You have changed my life in the best way possible. I am now a better person for having known you." You know who you are (If i sent you this link it probably means you, if your having any confusion). But to those people, i wish to say that you have that special pixie dust that can make hearts fly, as corny as that is. Yeah, i guess its corny but i kinda thought it was creative. you can give the simplest words to those who really do inspire you and they will never forget it, because you have now changed their lives for the better.

Thank you for those simple words that have changed my life for the better.

The Name

In freshman year high school math, there was this seat in the middle of the right side of the room. On the right side of the room, all my friends and people that laughed at my jokes sat, so naturally I wanted to sit with them. I also had this friend who sat in the same area, like me she liked the laughs she could create. But that one seat in the middle of the right side of the class was were we clashed in opinion. I wanted to sit in this seat not only because could I be in the center of my comedic audience but I could also sit near a kid that I had a crush on. She annoyingly wanted to sit there for understandably the same reasons, minus the crush. Every single time the bell rung after period 4, it would be a mad dash to get to math class.

I HATE math. HATE it. Its like Chinese to me. I have no idea what I'm trying to do with math, or how to accomplish it.

But this chair, seat, desk, was all I could envision. To be able to win that chair and create smiles, and maybe... love, for it was possible.

Finally when I reached the door and saw that the girl that i secretly held a grudge for had swiped that golden thrown from me. Right out of my hands she took it from me. She snatched it. I could feel the jealously and morose realisation of a sideline math class pour into my stomach.

The number of times I fought for that chair, is probably a number even math professors cant count to. I actually got up in the middle of the class during one of our more heated arguments and literally yelled at the girl who had taken my chair from me.

I was in high school. Not kindergarten, let me remind you. Not only had i gotten angry over a chair. A simple seat. But when she argued that it was JUST A SEAT, I snapped.

THIS WAS MORE THAN JUST A SEAT. This seemingly unimportant combination of cheap plastic, very mailable steal, and piles of gum stuck to the underside of the desk, was meaningless to the untrained eye. In reality, this was a spot that every period 5 I could forget the teacher droning in the back round and the stress that is assigned to being a new comer to a foreign land and a geek. I could create smiles, which was the vodka to me, the smile alcoholic. People laughed at my jokes, they opened up to me and made me feel needed and popular. This was more than just a seat. It was a therapeutic happy place. The seat was just the object that gave my happy place a visual aid.

No person has gone through the world with out having some material possession. Like a safety blanket or an antique watch. Its not the object, its the meaning and memories that the meaningless shell holds.

But every time someone says it is just a watch or just a stuffed animal, it creates the feeling that they don't understand what it is. Its what makes you feel warm and good.

Next time someone says to you "but that's just an object" know that they are wrong and that the feeling it creates makes you say THIS IS MORE THAN JUST A SEAT.